


After Time

by rubylily



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Be Careful What You Wish For, F/F, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8152423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylily/pseuds/rubylily
Summary: Homura was so very tired.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [failsafe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/failsafe/gifts).



Homura was so very tired.

She stared at the bandages on her bed. Another day, another witch killed. Neither Madoka nor Sayaka had contracted in this timeline yet, but Kyubey was beginning to notice Madoka's potential, and the more Homura tried to keep him away from Madoka, the more Mami distrusted her.

With an aching hand Homura grabbed a bandage. Could she really defeat Walpurgisnacht alone? Mami didn't trust her, so Homura couldn't ask for her help, and if Sakura Kyoko came to Mitakihara now, that could drive Sayaka into becoming a magical girl and then a witch, thus pushing Madoka further into despair. And if no one else could defeat Walpurgisnacht…

Homura's fingers tightened around the bandage, and her eyes hurt. Sometimes she told Madoka the truth about witches, sometimes she didn't, but it was always the same. Madoka either became a witch or was killed. Sometimes Walpurgisnacht killed her, sometimes it was the rose witch or the television witch. A few times Sayaka's witch form had killed her. Once Madoka had been killed in a car accident, nothing to do with magical girls or witches.

It was as if the universe itself wanted Madoka dead.

Homura sat at the edge of her bed, and she winced. Her wounds still bled from the previous battle, but even as she tried to bandage them her hands trembled too much. This lifeless body was always in pain, so what did it matter? As long as her Soul Gem was unharmed and uncorrupted, she could keep fighting, forever and ever.

How many times had she seen Madoka die? How many times had she faced Walpurgisnacht alone only to lose Madoka at the very last minute?

After the first dozen failed attempts, Homura had stopped counting.

How many months had it been since she had cast aside her humanity? How many years? She could barely remember her parents' faces. She couldn't remember the names of any of her friends from before she had transferred to Mitakihara. Had she had any friends before Madoka and Mami? She couldn't remember.

Kaname Madoka. She had saved Homura, reached out to her. Even as Mami had drifted apart from them to try to spare them the burden of fighting witches, Madoka and Homura had grown closer, and Homura had fallen in love.

So why couldn't she save the one she loved most?

And what about after Walpurgisnacht? Homura would have to protect Madoka for the rest of her life, because that had been her wish. The moment Madoka died, no matter what, no matter when, her magic sent her back to that fateful day. Even if she did defeat Walpurgisnacht finally, just the smallest mistake afterwards could ruin everything and she would have to do it all over again.

Yet, in all these countless timelines, she had not managed to defeat Walpurgisnacht alone even once, and if she couldn't even do that much, then she had no hope of saving Madoka. And if she couldn't save Madoka, there was only one other way to escape this labyrinth…

Homura screamed. Always she would be trapped in this endless maze. That was the price of her wish. What if she had wished simply to resurrect Madoka and Mami? But Mitakihara had still been destroyed, and if none of them knew the truth about magical girls, what would stop Madoka from becoming a magical girl again?

(And what if Kyubey had revived them as magical girls, still destined to die young or transform into witches? In one timeline, long ago, Madoka had wished to revive Sayaka, and Sayaka had come back to life as a magical girl with no memory of transforming into a witch.)

"Madoka… Madoka…" Homura spoke Madoka's name like a mantra, and pain filled her entire body. She had given up her very humanity, and still she couldn't save the one she loved. As she cried, her Soul Gem grew darker, and the pain seemed to dull.

However, a sharp knock on the door drew her back to her senses.

Stumbling to her feet and trying to ignore the pain that filled her body, Homura made her way to the front door and opened it, revealing Madoka.

"Um, you weren't in school today, so I brought-" Madoka began to say, but her eyes grew wide and her face went deathly pale. "Homura-chan, you're bleeding!"

"It's nothing," Homura muttered, waving her hand dismissively.

"No, it isn't nothing!" Madoka seized Homura's hand, and in her bright eyes was a fire Homura hadn't seen in a long time. "I'm the health rep, so I can help you!"

Her fingers tight around Homura's, Madoka guided Homura back to her bed, and Homura followed with no resistance. Madoka walked without hesitation, as if she had lingering memories of Homura's house from a previous timeline.

Madoka found the bandages quickly and began carefully cleaning and dressing Homura's wounds. Her hands were warm and gentle, and also firm and certain. Homura simply stared, and the more she watched Madoka, the more her chest hurt.

Why did Madoka always have to get involved with the affairs of magical girls? If she would just stay in her simple, mundane life, then she could live happily and peacefully without fear. If only she had never became a magical girl at all…

(If Madoka had never become a magical girl, if they had never met, perhaps Homura wouldn't be trapped in this endless, painful maze.)

Tears stung at Homura's eyes, and she bit her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. If not for Madoka, she would be dead. Her life belonged to Madoka now. If she gave into despair, she would lose Madoka forever.

And she knew better than anyone that forever was such a long time.

"Homura-chan?" Madoka touched Homura's cheek, her hand as soft as ever. "What's wrong?"

Homura clenched her teeth. "Are you going to ask what happened? You're scared, and I can't…"

"I understand you're fighting to protect me and everyone else," Madoka whispered, her voice quivering just slightly. "And I am scared of losing you… I know I'm not very useful or good at anything, but I want to do at least this much for you…"

"Madoka…!" Homura cried as she threw her arms around Madoka, even as pain shot through her aching body once more. "I… I want to protect you! So please, just stay as you are, and I'll be able to save you… We can finally be together, always…"

"Homura-chan?" Madoka laid her hands on Homura's shoulders, so gently as if she feared Homura would break. "We're already together, aren't we?"

Homura pulled back from Madoka and cupped her face; those bright eyes Homura loved so much simply watched her, and Homura pressed her lips against Madoka's.

More than despair, more than hope, her love for Madoka was eternal. In this endless maze, her beloved Madoka always waited, only for her.


End file.
